Recoil of the Heart
by Almighty Short One VIP
Summary: Tony x Ziva. Takes place after the ep. Recoil. It would be handy to watch that first. Part one of a possible three part story.


HEEEEYYYYY!!! I'm alive!!! Hahah. I'm back with something new. But anyway. I watched the episode Recoil today on TV and I fell in love with it. And I love Tony and Ziva. Soooo why not do a fanfic of them? OK well I hope you all enjoy. And I apologize because Tony is a bit OOC. And I think he's still dating La Granoui at this point in the season, not sure. But oh well.

I DO NOT OWN NCIS. Hahah I wish cuz then I could have Gibbs all to myself... :P

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"Ziva…Gina…whatever." Michael said as he walked away. Ziva's face fell. Her face was the perfect mirror to her heart: broken and shattered.

She drove home, trying to keep her mind blank and wiping away her tears. If she could just hold it until she got home, then everything would be ok. She didn't drive fast, she didn't drive on the wrong side of the road, and she just kept a stable, normal person speed. Driving was what relaxed her and kept her sane during Mussad missions, not that anyone knew that. Ziva kept her passions, desires, and heart secret.

Trying to see past her tears, she stomped up the stairs to her apartment. Throwing her gear on the sofa and dropping her clothes throughout the apartment, she made her way to the shower. Once in the safety of her shower and after doing her showerly deeds, did she let herself cry. She lowered herself to her knees and sat there until the water became cold, her tears invisible through with the water.

_I am Ziva David. I am not weak. I am a Mussad officer capable of killing people with no problem. I have assassin training! How could I let myself get so led on by a man? How could I be so weak?_ She pulled her hair and smashed the side of her fist into the wall. _I am a strong woman. I was trained better than this. How could I let my emotions lead me like this?_ Eventually she hauled herself up and out of the shower and turned off the water. Feeling better, she enjoyed a container of ice cream, did some martial arts and then fell asleep.

The next day, they found Devon, Michael's girlfriend. It drove something painful into Ziva's heart. Oh no, she didn't care anymore for the man because she'd always been one to bounce back. It stayed with her, even as she gave Michael the number to call his girlfriend. The feeling stayed with her even as she tried to fall asleep that night.

It was 1AM and Ziva was crying. Again. And miraculously, her phone went off. The caller ID said DiNozzo.

"Yes, Tony? You are well aware that it is one o'clock in the morning."

"I was uh-just calling to check up on you, Ziva. That's all."

"Why? Do I need checking up on? Are you questioning my judgment as well? I really don't-"

"Ziva, you were crying? Am I right? No, shut it. I'm on my way over." And the line went dead. Ziva sat up and realized she looked like…well like shit. She threw off her navy marshmallows and put on regular sweats.

Tony was there in less than five minutes. Ziva had guessed he'd been waiting somewhere near her place. He came bearing ice cream and martial arts movies.

"I uh… heard chicks like ice cream when they're sad…and you seem to be the type to like martial arts. Please don't hurt me!" He mock covered his face with the goodies. Tony was always one for jokes and movies she realized. _Just the person to make this sick feeling go away._ They settled on her couch and popped the movies and ice cream. But that happiness didn't last long. Her tears came at once and the next thing they both knew, she was in his lap, burying her face in his neck.

"Why does it never work out for me Tony? Why can't I be happy?" She asked after a while of crying and wiping her face on Tony's expensive turtle neck.

"What are you talking about Z?" He pulled her hair back from her face and was not pleased with her snot on his shirt.

"Men Tony! Men! Every time I let myself like a man, he either drops the bucket-"

"Kicks the bucket is the expression…"

"Kicks…WHATEVER or his girlfriend shows up from almost being killed?! Am I sufferable? Too womanly? What is wrong with me Tony?" And with that new tears burst through her eyes.

"It's INsufferable, you're…a bit intimidating and there is NOTHING wrong with you Z. You are strong. You kick ass more than anyone I know. You put up with McGeek, for what reason I really don't understand. You are the fearless Ziva David. If anything, there is something wrong with those men. Maybe you're time to work out wasn't with those guys. Maybe it's with someone else. Maybe someone closer then you think… Maybe someone in this very room..?" She pulled back from his neck and looked at him confused. Looking into his eyes, she could see a lot of things: sincerity for one, understanding, friendship and more than anything, love. She had never been looked at like that before and felt like a deer in headlamps… head lights, whatever that stupid English saying is. Ziva David was never one for crying, for feeling anything really. She was all mission and as such didn't have time for feelings. Which is why she felt like her world was turn on its head, like her stomach fell to her butt, but her heart felt warm.

"Tony… I-I can't…"

"I'm not saying now. I am… You need time and I have complications right now. But I care for you very much Miss Ziva David. You know, most people say I don't really have a heart… but inside this federal agent beats the heart of a lover!" He beat his fist on his chest while still holding her.

"Thank you…Tony. I don't know when… or if I will truly be ready."

"And timing doesn't matter. Take all the time you need. I will be waiting. I know you're scared to give your heart to someone. It can take a lot. Just know I am here for you, whenever you need a carton of ice cream and martial arts movies. Just call me." He kissed her forehead and settled in with her for the rest of the movies.

Later that night, as Tony lay snoring in her bed, she lay away, unconsciously tracing hearts into his hairy chest.

"Tony… you will never know how much you mean to me. وأنا أحبك (I love you). My cherished one."

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Please review. I'll probably be re-uploading this after I have my beta read it, but I love it so much the way it is now. Forgive any spelling and grammatical mistakes. No flames please. =]


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